Updates

Let's take the focus off football for a minute.

Warning up front: If you've been affected by a loved one's death by suicide — or if you've had suicidal thoughts yourself — this conversation may be triggering. Please know that before reading on.

If you’re in distress, stop what you're doing and call or text "988" to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for free, confidential, 24/7/365 support right now. You can also reach a trained counselor by clicking "CHAT" at 988lifeline.org. People are standing by that care and will hear you out, lend a hand, and walk with you.

For everyone else — especially parents — please stay with me. This is important.

Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States. Every instance is a tragedy — each of the 48,183 people whose lives ended prematurely in 2021, not to mention the many that came before and since.

Suicide occurs far too frequently to assume, "That'll never happen to me or to the people I care about." It could. Real talk here.

Don't believe me? You're an NFL fan, so you understand how stats can get to the truth of a matter. In 2022 alone, 13.2 million American adults seriously thought about suicide, 3.8 million planned a suicide attempt, and 1.6 million attempted suicide," according to the CDC’s most recent data.

Those numbers are scary, but they don't include suicidal thoughts and behaviors by kids. In 2021, 9% of high school students reported making a recent suicide attempt. It's the second leading cause of death for children and young adults between 10–24 years old. Even more frightening — these numbers are on the rise.

It's personal to me, a father of five. My wife, Tommi, and I are grandparents. "Vincent Country" is more than a nickname for our family — it's everything to us. We protect it with all we've got. That's what parents do.

Part of that responsibility means being open and honest with our children about mental health.

When I was a child, many parents avoided hard conversations with their kids. Society is now at a place where it's OK to not be OK. As a parent, are you encouraging this vulnerability in your own household? Think about that. Answer honestly.

Experts say being proactive about discussions involving mental health and suicide is one of the biggest factors in suicide prevention. It’s a game changer. Talking about these topics does not increase the risk that someone will attempt suicide, so be candid, humble, and open to discomfort. You might need to build trust first, depending on your relationship with your child. But start today. It could save their life.

Maintaining that dialog is key. It’ll give you opportunities to spot when something isn't right. Talking about dying or being a burden, feeling hopeless, or wanting to withdraw from friends or favorite activities are all signs. As parents, we must be in tune. That's why it was important for the NFL community to partner with the SAMHSA and the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline on a four-part video series to educate individuals on suicide prevention tactics and resources.

It's not easy, keeping these things in mind can help:

• Each child is different. A mix of empathy, care, and communication goes a long way in delicate situations. You know your kids best — so just do your best.
• If your child isn't comfortable talking with you at the moment, respect their boundaries. Give them space, but don't give up. Try to help them figure out when and where they get support.
• If they are open to mental health counseling, ask your pediatrician, school, friends and family, or your own doctor for a referral to a professional.
• If your child says — or you believe — they are in emotional distress or suicidal crisis, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text "988" or start a chat at 988lifeline.org.
• Be patient with questions when speaking with crisis counselors — they ask questions to understand the situation and provide you child with the best guidance. Remember, it's all confidential.
• If your child is resistant to contacting the 988 Lifeline, you can call on your own and 988 counselors can provide you with support and resources.

These are just a few tactics I’ve learned as a parent and an advocate for ending domestic violence, which is deeply personal to my family and is also linked to higher suicide risk.

For athletes, coaches and others in sports: We need to evolve our thinking on mental health in athletics.

October 5-12, 2024, is National Student Athlete Mental Health Week and October 3-10, 2024, is Pro Athlete Mental Health Awareness Week. Frankly, sports have a long history of rewarding and celebrating toughness in athletes — no matter their age or gender. Men and boys feel pressure to live up to an outdated definition of masculinity. We've got to stop that way of thinking.

Not only is seeking assistance for emotional health or mental illness important in all of our lives, but it can also improve your personal mental and physical performance. Montana State University has compiled some worthwhile research, tips, and tools. There's a lot more out there. Share what you learn with your teammates.

You're in the locker room. You have the influence to manifest something new.

Remember, it's OK to not be OK.

Spread the word.